Commenting 101: General Commenting Etiquette

Today marks Session #4 in my Commenting 101 blogging series. (You can start from the beginning of the series here)

Today, we'll discussing Commenting Etiquette.

"What?!" you might be wondering. "There are etiquette rules to follow in the blog world?"

There are no hard and fast rules in the blogosphere, but just as in our lives beyond the computer screen, there are guidelines that many bloggers adhere to because it just makes the blogosphere a nicer place to be!

How do I know about these guidelines?

Well, many of them are no-brainers, like the whole concept of the "Golden Rule." Beth covered this in her "Blog Unto Others" post at The Stories of A 2 Z. The simple idea of treating others the way you'd want to be treated is something many (most?!) of us naturally follow.

Other guidelines are not quite so easily discernible, but I picked them up as a new blogger, watching others interact and asking questions. I think most (if not every) blogger has unintentionally slipped up here and there. I know I have. It's okay! The important thing is that your heart is in the right place.

Some of you might disagree with me and think that etiquette is silly and antiquated, but I think that when people put forth a little effort to be gracious and kind, things just seem to go more smoothly.

I'm going to steer today's Commenting Etiquette discussion back to Good/Bad Comments. Last week, we talked about How to Leave a Good Comment, but we didn't really delve into what makes a BAD COMMENT:

1. Canned Comments

Canned comments are comments that have obviously been copied and pasted on multiple blogs by a blogger who has probably not bothered to stop and read your post or think of anything encouraging/interesting/ to say.

Most of the bloggers I've met are pretty smart people. When I visit a few blogs and see that you left the same "Cute! Nice Spring project. Visit me at 1234.com" on 15 other sites, it's a huge turnoff.

Copying and pasting the same comment on 42 blogs will get you nowhere. Bloggers can smell a canned comment from miles away, particularly when you've left the exact same comment on 100 other blogs linked to the same blog party. This happened to me several times, and I stopped visiting the offending blog because it was clear she wasn't giving me the same respect that I gave her.

We'll be discussing commenting and linky parties more in depth another day, and I'll share my views then.

2. "Follow Me"

I know there are specific blog parties built around the idea of bloggers hopping from site to site to Follow each other. To each {her} own, but it's just not my style.

I really want the readers who stop by my site and click that "Follow" button to click it because they like me, and they like what I have to say...not because I made them feel pressured. At the risk of offending some, I feel like I just need to be honest and admit that "Follow Me" comments come across as a little desperate. Sometimes you need to focus on your content and community, and not on the numbers.

Example: Just yesterday (!), I visited a new-to-me blog and left a comment. The blogger emailed me back within a few minutes and thanked me for the visit BUT proceeded with a two paragraph (likely within her email signature) "ad" for me to come to her blog, Follow, subscribe to the email newsletter, Like her on Facebook, and Follow her on Twitter. And she hadn't even bothered to click over to check out my blog! It was almost worse than receiving the "Follow Me" in actual blog comment; because had she left me a comment, at least that would have meant she'd visited my blog. She meant well, I could tell! But the "hard sell" was not appealing to me.

On the other hand, I don't see any problem with a comment like this:

This was a thoughtful comment with a polite invitation for me to visit the blog. No pressure or guilt. Let's just pretend that the person has their email enabled with their Blogger profile, and that they also link to their blog from their profile so that I can visit when I have a chance.

3. Plain old Spam, and we're not talking about canned ham:

• Blog to Blog Salesman

I have a Sponsors section. If I wanted to leave my comments open for solicitations, I'd totally do that. It is rude to go from blog to blog plying your wares. It's also a bit too aggressive for most readers' tastes, and is a real turn-off. You're better off to save up a bit and invest in a cute blog button and an ad spot somewhere.

• Random Commenter Giveaway

I love it when my blogging friends and regular readers let me know that they're hosting something fun at their blog. That's what friends do! I don't want to miss out. But leaving "free ads" on random blogs is not cool. (See above) Everyone is in such a rush to promote themselves that they forget about how their promotion can be perceived. It always strikes me as odd when I get one of those comments from someone out of the blue.

If you're unsure, send a polite email to the blogger in question. If you are nice enough, he/she may be willing to Facebook or Tweet your Giveaway in addition to entering!

• Nasty, rude, ugliness

You will know these when you see them. Sometimes they are poorly spelled or worded (see above). They are almost always "Anonymous," and they are targeted to hurt your feelings. And they do. 

I received an Anonymous Comment almost two years ago, calling me a "fat, white lady." It was a very creative comment. I still remember it, and it still bothers me when I think about it.

I hit "delete."

What did Thumper say in Bambi? "If you can't say something nice...don't say nothing at all."

Some bloggers don't allow Anonymous comments because they fear the ugly words that are out there. I decided a long time ago that it's my blog, and I can delete whatever the heck I want. 

I prefer to allow Anon comments because there are readers out there who do not have Blogger profiles, and I like for them to be able to share here too.

We all love to receive feedback. Even if you don't agree with the writer, you can find tactful ways to open a dialogue. If you just can't keep from being controversial, click away quickly! Remember that tone is very hard to read into on the internet (what may be joking to you, can come across as hurtful to someone else).

*In the upcoming weeks, we'll be chatting about Commenting and Linky Parties, How/When to Reply to Comments, Technical How-Tos, and Scheduling. I'll hope you'll join me!

{Any comments or questions?}